The nurse was a head and a half shorter than Severus, but considerably wider, and she used both her girth and Severus's reluctance to have less than six inches between his ribs and her over-sized mammaries to good effect. "It's time for you to leave now, Professor."

Even as she edged him through the door of the delivery room, Severus protested. "I can assure you that nothing that happens in this room is beyond my capacity to deal with, Madam." Unfortunately, unlike most of the other medical personnel in attendance, this one was older than him and had not spent years in his classroom, being conditioned into obeying his every word.

"Yes, Professor, we all know you're a big brave wizard, but the issue isn't your capacity." The nurse ducked.

Severus saw the eighteen inch diameter ball of blue flame just in time to step aside. As soon as he was in the corridor the nurse joined him and closed the door behind them both.

Severus looked back and forward from the nurse to the smouldering cork notice board behind him. "How did you—"

"Supersensory Charm," the nurse explained.

"I thought you took her wand away," Severus argued.

"We did."

"You bastard!" came the shrill but only marginally muffled shout from the other side of the door. This was followed by a scream of pain that had Severus reaching for the door handle again.

"Sir, you simply can't go back in there. It's an unacceptable risk, and it's against hospital policy for partners of witches to be present in the final stages."

"My wife specifically requested my—"

Another scream.

"What the hell are you doing to her?" Severus demanded as he tried unsuccessfully to move the nurse out of his way.

"You did this! You and your sexy voice and your damn penis—"

"Sir, if your wife were a Muggle or a Squib, perhaps we could accommodate you, but the medical team cannot concentrate on your wife's wellbeing and delivering the baby safely if they're dodging hexes."

Severus's next protest died on his lips. "This is normal?" he asked bemusedly, his gaze flicking from the door of the room where his wife was demonstrating a wider vocabulary than he had ever heard from her before, to the charred notice board behind him.

"Luna conjured a swarm of billiwigs when she had Beatrice. I was stung so many times, my feet didn't touch the ground for three days," said a voice from the corner of the waiting room. The redhead shrugged. "Luna's got an affinity for magical creatures and Charms, so when she loses it, her wandless magic tends to that sort of thing. The more gifted the witch is and the more volatile her temper, the worse it is, and your Hermione's a hair's breadth from being a Pyromancer."

Severus closed his eyes and inhaled through his nose. Of course there had to be a Weasley. It was a maternity ward. They probably took it in shifts. There would be some unwritten rule that at all times a Weasley wife must be in labour. At least it was one of the older ones.

Charlie reached into his shirt pocket and pulled out a packet of cigarettes. "Smoke?" he asked.

Severus hesitated. It didn't seem right for him to indulge himself while his wife was suffering, but at the same time his inability to do anything for his wife's suffering was exactly why he wanted one.

"She'll be fine, sir. Even in Muggle hospitals it's a lot safer now than it was in the old days."

"How old do you think I am, boy?"

"Old enough to think of a thirty-year-old as boy," Charlie answered dryly. "Soon as they put that baby into her arms, it's like the difference between night and day. There's no feeling like knowing you brought new life into the world."

Severus left an empty chair between himself and Charlie as he sat down. He drew a cigarette from the packet and let Charlie light it for him, both of them pretending they didn't see the other's hands shake. "Thank you, Charles."

Charlie grinned. Including Luna, that made a total of two people who called him that. "You're welcome, Severus."

The nurse looked from one man to the other with a clinically assessing eye. "Alright, then," she announced, nodding at them both and turning back toward the delivery room. She paused with her hand on the door handle and added a last remark. "And perhaps when your fag break is over, one of you wizards can stop the wall from smouldering before the hospital burns down."