Severus rose to his feet. "Professor Scamander, we are not about to re-do the Christmas decorations just because you read about some imaginary creature in a vanity publication authored by the delusional Miss Lovegood."

"Miss Lovegood is a very insightful Magizoologist. I have been corresponding with her for several weeks, and she assures me that, though invisible, these Nargles are a viable threat. After all, no one believed in the Lethifold until my grandfather recorded it in Fantastic Beasts."

"And is that supposed to convince me that Nargles are real, or that Fantastic Beasts should be taken off the reading list? This staff meeting is adjourned," Severus answered implacably. "Scamander, I believe you have a class in five minutes."

Rolf Scamander rose, pushing the book he had brought with him to the side until it rested in front of the Arithmancy professor. If he couldn't persuade the headmaster of the danger, then perhaps Luna's friend might.

Gradually, most of the teachers filed out of the headmaster's office, with the exception of one.

"Professor Granger, I said the meeting was over."

"Yes, Severus, I heard you, but while you might be prepared to disregard the danger out of hand, I thought someone should check what the book actually says."

"I'm certain Lovegood's is one book which I never wish to hear you regurgitate word for word."

"Then listen to this. Nargles are magical spirits, which procreate by possessing the bodies of magical humans, who then indulge in repeated mating before falling unconscious. The Nargle parents will then exit the possessed witch and wizard, leaving their progeny to gestate within them. The new Nargles will be ready to emerge by the time the sleepers awaken, though they will not reach maturity until the following year. Nargles have found that by hiding in traditional mistletoe decorations, they can instigate intimacy between even the most unlikely of pairings without arousing suspicion."

"You can't expect me to take that balderdash seriously, Granger."

"Would it kill you to call me Hermione?"

"Possibly."

"Look, I know you weren't exactly happy when Minerva's last act before she retired as headmistress was to appoint me, but that was five years ago. You managed to serve under Minerva despite being her former pupil, but you have never been able to overcome your prejudice toward me in the same respect. That makes us a very unlikely pairing. I suggest an experiment."

Severus's brows drew together. "Exactly what sort of experiment did you have in mind, professor?"

"Come to my quarters at eight o'clock and you'll find out."

---

Hermione pushed a lock of sweat-slicked hair back from Severus's face, tucking it behind an ear before she lifted her head to kiss him again. "It seems to me that there may be some prima facie evidence in Luna's favour."

Severus wrapped an arm around the tousle-haired wanton before he rolled onto his back, drawing her with him. He looked up at the mistletoe-shrouded bower in which they lay. "But this was only the first half of the experiment, Hermione," Severus reminded her.

"What do you suggest?" Hermione asked with a sleepy smile.

"Today is Saturday. If you don't have any detentions scheduled, might I suggest that after breakfast we adjourn to my mistletoe-free rooms and conduct the control experiment?"

"Purely in the interest of magical research, of course?"

"If I knew the answer to that question," Severus drawled, "then we wouldn't need the control experiment, would we?"