"Severus, please..."

"No, Hermione, I outrank you. This is my decision."

"You outrank me?" Hermione's tone switched from conciliatory to confrontational in an instant. "In which universe?"

"I am deputy headmaster. You are not. If I choose to exercise my authority in this instance, I have every right to do so."

"And I am his godmother. I was there—"

"Obviously!" Snape sneered.

"You were not."

"No, because if I had been, the dunderhead would be hanging by his thumbs in chains by now."

"It's not his fault, Severus," Hermione reiterated for what seemed like the twentieth time. "And no one has been detained in chains since the Voldemort era."

"I'm bringing it back in," Severus growled. "Was he or was he not the one who cast the damned hex?"

"It was a Charm! Not—"

There was a small coughing noise from somewhere around their waists. "Technically, I believe the choice of punishment is mine," interrupted Professor Flitwick. "Hugo is in my house."

"Shut up!" Hermione and Severus chorused together.

"And he won't be in any house if I get my way!" Severus added.

"It was an accident, you great over-protective oaf," Hermione remonstrated.

"An accident that even the staff at St. Mungo's are unable to reverse. An accident that means you can't hold a wand for an estimated ten weeks until it wears off. An accident that gave my wife a hoof instead of a hand. All because the little brat is too damned irresponsible to write to his parents and admit that he broke his wand. Stupidity, clumsiness and cowardice apparently breed true."

"Enough!" called a sharp Scottish brogue. "Filius, you will write to Molly and to Luna. Professor Snape, since you insist on acting like a petulant first-year, I must treat you as such. Detention, in your suite, now. Professor Granger-Snape, you will supervise. I will see that you each receive a copy of the minutes for the staff meeting."

Severus's eyes narrowed, and he treated Minerva to his coldest glare before he billowed from the room.

Hermione gave Minerva a rueful smile and hurried after her disgruntled spouse. She tucked her left arm through his right, forcing him to slow down and eventually stop, at which point Hermione stood on tiptoe to kiss his cheek and whisper in his ear. "Now, what was that idea about physically restraining detainees, Mister Snape?"

Severus darted a furtive glance through his hair. "Manacles?" he suggested.

"The silk scarves are still tied to the bedposts."

An eyebrow lifted upward, a smirk firmly in place before and after Severus replied. "Indeed?"