Summary: Hogwarts acquires some new statues. The consequences turn out to be rather more serious than an interior decorating faux pas, especially for Hermione and a certain Defence Against the Dark Arts professor.

Disclaimers: Harry Potter, its background and characters belong to JKR and too many other organisations to name. The 'statues' are blatantly stolen from the 'Dr Who' episode 'Blink', (I've yet to work out if I can incorporate later DW statue canon, let alone if I will) and a couple of characters from BtVS/AtS may also make cameo appearances, but I don't own any of them.

Author's Notes: Since this is the annual birthday tribute for my main grammar and punctuation beta, geyer, I recruited some extra help. Annie Talbot joined AlwaysJBJ and Bambu to keep me and my commas in line for quite a few chapters, but life got busy again so the birthday girl ended up beta-ing her own present (again).

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